Disclaimer

This is a satirical look at the Isle of Wight. It is a good natured poke at island life. It is a slice of the stories from The Spoof, a satirical on-line newspaper. There are various contributors.

Friday, 19 November 2010

Isle of Wight To Face Possible Defence Cuts


The Strategic and Defence Security Review is eagerly awaited by many armed forces personnel, as it appears massive cuts are to be made across the defensive board.

Not least of those awaiting its results are the twenty strong Armed Response Unit based on the Isle of Wight.

As the islands only form of defence against attackers from all directions, Bob Grundy, commanding officer of the unit, spoke to us of his concern.

"At present we have a fairly strong team, we train every Wednesday evening after bowls, We currently have two rifles, six handguns, a shotgun and a hand grenade, more than enough to make a prospective invader think again, I'm sure you'll agree!"

"As for clothing, we rotate the six pairs of camouflage oversuits twice weekly, and Terry Buttress, one of our squad, owns his own gas mask!"

The cuts however, look likely to halve their equipment, or worse still.

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