Ryde Bowling Green Ruined

Artists impression of the culprit

Residents of Ryde are devastated ahead of the new crown green bowling season starting in three weeks with the news that the Esplanade bowling greens have been trashed overnight.


"I came in this morning," said greens keeper, Geoffrey Hardhat, 76 of Ryde. "It looks like somebody has driven a JCB across the turf, and filled in the ruts with dog mess. It's ruined, there's no way I can get it fixed in time for the new season."


Ryde police chief, Derek Pensioner, 55, is a member of the Ryde bowling team, and believes he knows who the culprits are.


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