Inaction Plan to be Implemented Soon

Pugh Demonstrates how the new plan will be actioned

David Pugh has announce a new initiative that he hopes will help put Islanders to work while helping to eliminate government waste of taxpayer's dollars through needless government programs. Dubbed the "Inaction Plan", Pugh's initiative has been a long time coming according to Newport resident Ron Southward.

"There is no question that government can do things better and at less cost, it's the human side of things that has to be considered."

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Arson suspected in chippy fire

Fire fighters were still there in the morning

Hopeless Street chip-shop in Ventnor is the centre of a police investigation after a fire broke out there at 10:30pm Monday morning.

Regular Isle of Wight News readers, and even some of those with constipation, will recall our recent survey to find the island's be'st chippie's. Hopeless Street chippy was in the final three. Police suspect that the owners of either Ventnor Tandoori and Traditional English Chips And Curry or The Plaice in Newport may be responsible in an effort to reduce the competition, and will be keeping a close eye on both establishments.

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Chain Ferry out of action; Again!

The ferry on the one day last year it worked

The chain link car ferry that connects Cowes to East Cowes is out of action, yet again.

Severe weather on the island over the past few weeks has resulted in localised flooding around the chain link ferry connection points. This follows on from the ferry being out of action during a large portion of the summer due to chain expansion in the heat.

"This is getting seriously silly," said local resident Humphrey Dumphrey, 47. "I am a regular user of the ferry to get from my house in East Cowes to my job as a milkman in Cowes."
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Malaria Orgasm Mystery on Isle of Wight

Cheryl started feeling a bit poorly, like

Fans of petite geordie lass Cheryl Cole were shocked and stunned today to hear that she had been rushed to hospital from her Surrey home with Malaria. Doctors worried for her health have ordered her to cancel all appearances for the time being.

Having collapsed at an Isle of Wight photoshoot - she was admitted in the early hours of the morning. 

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Meeting of the IOW Ladies Magic Circle

The meeting was held at the Clove and Hoof

Yesterday evening the IOW Ladies' Magic Circle met for the annual general meeting in the upstairs meeting room above Clove and Hoof public house in Ryde.

The meeting was opened by the chairperson Mrs. Helen Earth and commenced with the traditional chanting and guttural screams of the Circle anthem "Do you rue Salem". This was followed by the ritual placing of goat horns on the wall-hung pentagram with it's motto Rege Satana Vale.

Before the meeting was called to order Mrs.Juno Watt the Official Custodian of Grimoires and Great Conservatrix of Ritual pointed out that the horns were 5mm out of place and that Mrs. Earth should really have made a sign of the inverted cross and vomited frogs.

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Treatment Plant Open Day a Success

A possible new tourist attraction?

For the first time since its opening in 1897 the Cowes sewage treatment plant was able to signal a red-letter day last Saturday 17th July. Having been temporarily closed for a complete refit to bring it up to the most modern standards of ISO15002 and the exigences of health and safety law the reinstatement of normal function was celebrated by a public open day. As of Monday 19th all discharge into the Solent will have ceased and it is hoped that normal bathing on beaches in the north Wight area will resume by the 26th currents permitting.


Visitors arrived in the teens and the short queue was impatient for the gates to open dead on 11 am.


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Death of local Shanklin man

Strollin Norman

The IOW news regrets to report the death of Mr.Norman Smith 73 of Shanklin. Mr Smith was Shanklin born and bred and never left the island except for 24 hours in 1957 for a medical examination prior to to his National Service, which he failed.
On returning to the Island after his absence he was a familiar figure to be seen daily, strolling along the front to the water gardens where after strolling three times around the Monet Lily Pond he would stroll back home.


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