Derek Acorah visits Wooton

Derek Acorah has a new
book out...
available from Amazon.

Delight and amazement were the emotions on the faces of the residents of Wooton when Psychic Superstar Derek Acorah, 60, turned up at the village hall.


"He wasn't booked," said Kathy Dewsnap, 32 of nearby Wootton village. "Apparently, he'd meant to be going to Walton, but mistyped the address into his sat-nav. We don't mind though, because he was amazing."


Acorah has never visited the Isle of Wight before, nor played a venue as small as Wooton Village Hall, giving the occasion an even more special air. On the day that Acorah turned up the village hall was meant to be hosting the fifth birthday party of Brindley Dewsnap, 5, also of Wootton, but the party was quickly abandoned in favour of Acorah doing his psychic medium show.


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Evil Medieval to Jump Beatty Creek

Medieval in his Ox Cart racing days

Cowes - Local daredevil Evil Medieval plans on resurrecting his career this weekend by attempting to jump the Carrollton Branch of Beatty Creek in a "State-of-the art" wooden ox-cart.

A heavy timber carpenter from Rookley, Medieval rocketed to fame in the 1950's when he broke the Isle of Wight land speed record for ox-carts by shaving three days off of the passage from Freshwater to Sandown maintaining an incredible speed of seventeen miles an hour across Britt Run and Corrowaugh Swamp and only breaking down once to fix a wheel at Rookley.

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Annual Beauty Pageant Winner Named

The Garlic festival - always popular,
even when it's not on

Newchurch - Local beauties paraded this week in the annual Garlic Festival beauty pageant. 

The pageant has been a source of controversy at it is now being held only every other year causing some to complain that it should not be advertised as an annual event. 

Mayor Tom Shovel defends the practice as not being untruthful as the Garlic Festival continues to be an annual event.

"The Annual Garlic Festival beauty pageant is an important part of the Newchurch economy despite it now being held only every other year."


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Ditch Debate Deepens

The Ditch

Sandown - Local residents met last evening at Norbert's Fish and Chips to discuss plans to construct a ditch west of town towards Newchurch. Town clerk Noel Worthington presented plans completed by the civil engineer which he said are ready for tender.

Request for approval to construct the ditch as planned was thrown awry when Mr. Worthington announced that the ditch was "not a functional ditch" as the land in question is self-draining but is"intended to be a tourist attraction".


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Rubber Duck Invasion

Some of the recovered ducks

A major investigation was launched this week to investigate the curious case of the flotilla of rubber ducks that have been inundating Yarmouth Harbour for the past fortnight.


The busy Yarmouth harbour has become awash with the small yellow bath toys which is causing a danger to the Wightlink Ferry to and from Lymington on the Mainland as well as the numerous pleasure boats that operate out of the harbour.


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Crime on the Rise

The bird bath after the incident

Whippingham - Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth has made an appointment to meet with Mayor Shovel regarding what she calls a "alarming increase in crime."

"Just last week I woke up in the morning to find that someone had overturned my birdbath and pulled down my Guernsey Cream clematis. Constable Millington tried to tell me it was probably the neighbor's cat that did it, is this the best police work the people of Whippingham can expect? The criminals are still out there planning to overturn more birdbaths right now and may be part of an organized crime syndicate for all we know"


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Resident Protests Sex Shop

Gilded Lily will visit you at your own
home!

Whippingham - Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth has protested to Mayor Shovel and Council that the Gilded Lily Flower Shop that recently opened is operating as a sex shop.

"This is the last thing that Whippingham needs to distract the youth of our community and give our town a bad name for tourists. I have seen men and women as young as forty and fifty walking in and out of the shop at all hours."


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