This is a satirical look at the Isle of Wight. It is a good natured poke at island life. It is a slice of the stories from The Spoof, a satirical on-line newspaper. There are various contributors.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

Kookingheim Museum Coming

Artists impression
Peter Moore the Chairman of Tourism Development Planning has announced that one of the most prestigious institutions in the world, The Kookingheim, has announced that it will establish a new museum for the UK, on the Isle of Wight.

Moore says this is exactly the thing that the Isle of Wight needs.

“While we have capitalized on our periperality (being cut-off from the mainland UK) by celebrating our unique biodiversity and quality of life The Kookingheim is a proven tourism draw that has brought economic prosperity to each of it’s current locations around the world.”

“The museum will boost the local economy, generate employment, create a positive image, contribute to local facilities and help sustain a better environment.”

The question is where it will go.

Chairman of the Council for Newport, Cllr Ian Stephens, says that while his community would be honoured to be home for the Kookingheim, Newport is already stretched at the seams being the administrative centre of the island , home to the Isle of Wight Festival and Bestival along with providing one of the best viewing opportunities for endangered red squirrels on the island.

“I think that Cowes is a much more deserving site for the Kookingheim than Newport all things considered.”

Cowes mayor Alan Wells agrees that “The Kookingheim would be an asset to any community but it would have to be considered along with current projects now completed or underway including The Cowes War Memorial, Interpretation Panels at Northwood Park and a new Interactive Water Play Area.”

“Cowes Week is the longest-running regular regatta in the world. We don’t want to tamper with success. People look forward to the fireworks from the barges on the Solent so it would not do to upstage them with a new museum. Perhaps the Kookingheim should be located in a community that needs more of a boost to the local economy, like Sandown.”

Sandown Seafront is already
well endowed with iconic buildings
Sandown officials contacted seemed enthusiastic about The Kookingheim as a possible replacement tourist attraction for the Lost Castle of Sandown.

Despite having attractive beaches along Sandown Bay, chalk downland wildlife, sea birds that nest on adjoining cliffs and bluebells in the spring in the Borthwood Woodlands, the obvious benefits from increased tourism that The Kookingheim could bring is not lost on Sandown officials. They have recommended a feasibility study be done first evaluating how the museum would affect current attractions such as the Sandown Zoo, Dinosaur Isle and the Open-Top Bus Service.

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