Disclaimer

This is a satirical look at the Isle of Wight. It is a good natured poke at island life. It is a slice of the stories from The Spoof, a satirical on-line newspaper. There are various contributors.

Thursday 18 November 2010

Man in Stocking Cap Goes Missing

Police impression of the missing man
Search and rescue teams have been combing lands outside of the town for days now for an adult man reported missing by an anonymous caller from the Spyglass Inn.

The missing man is reported to be in his late twenties, tall, of thin build wearing a red and white striped stocking cap and sweater and blue trousers. He has brown hair parted to one side, horn rim glasses and carries a wooden cane.

Concerns heighten when temperatures drop
Constable Mike Millington was contacted regarding the emergency and immediately sent search parties out to all sides of Ventnor “It’s getting colder out, I saw no reason to take chances of a man dying of hypothermia for no reason.”


“We searched north of Whitwell Road and Leeson Road and were getting prepared to sweep Bonchurch Landslip when we decided to check out the local pubs.”

“We thought we may have stumbled upon the missing person when we routinely checked out the Spyglass Inn where the phone call was made from and were surprised to encounter a bunch of young men, each to a man dressed in the costume of the missing person, laughing and drinking excessively.”

Millington says he is “Quite cross at this young bunch making fun of a poor lost man, wasting precious search time.”

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